Ep. 41 Overcome the Lie that It's Wrong to Love Yourself
How can you overcome the lie that it’s wrong to love yourself? How can you deal with people, organizations, and ideologies that tell you it's wrong?
In the previous episode, I shared some of the most common origin stories for that belief. Go check it out if you missed it, and then come back here.
In order to overcome the lie that is “wrong to love yourself”:
#1 Don't let those thoughts take up residency in your mind any longer.
#2 Learn to love yourself.
So how exactly are these two things done?
First, you have to rewire the beliefs that it's wrong to love yourself and then practice loving yourself in action. We talk a lot about loving yourself with action in Episodes 38 and 39.
Another option is to see a self-worth coach like myself or a counselor.
Let's dive more into how you can rewire the beliefs that it's wrong to love yourself.
If abuse influenced the belief that it is wrong to love yourself, you need to know that part of an abuser’s goal is to exert control over you. They want you to feel weak and small. They don’t want you to realize the truth that you are unconditionally worthy, that you are lovable. Recognize their attempts for what they were, and no longer allow their views of you to define you.
If religion influenced the belief that is it wrong to love yourself, here is something for you to think about. In most religions, the worshipped being(s) of that religion are believed to have created you and/or saved you from a particular path. Therefore that being(s) know that you were worth being created and/or saved.
Someone that is worth being created or saved is valuable. The creator’s hope for it wasn’t self-hatred. You were not created as a mistake. You weren’t made by a kindergartener pasting together popsicle sticks, glitter, and construction paper. You were made by someone who could have made you in any way and chose to make you the way that you are. You're special, you're worthy.
If your belief of how you came to exist has nothing to do with a higher power, those theories of creation also result in the fact it is amazing you are here. Every creation account that is out there in the world is spectacular.
However you came to be where you are right now, you're a miracle. And that miracle deserves respect and gratitude. Gratitude for who you are, your particular character, your particular personality, etc.
So know that you are a special creation however you came to exist today.
The last and third thing is in regards to service organizations. A lot of non-profit service organizations lift the concept up of serving others so much that it is a detriment to your well-being.
As a reminder from the last episode, the answer is not to only love yourself, nor to only love others. The key is finding a healthy balance that allows you to do both well. A balance that allows you to care for yourself and others.
When it comes to serving in non-profit organizations, know that by loving yourself, you are restoring yourself. By loving yourself you’ll be recognizing when you need a break and taking that needed break. When you do that, you actually get to make an impact on others from a healthier place.
You won’t be serving from running on fumes. Instead, you’ll be serving from a well-balanced and well-energized space.
Your self-worth is not measured by how self-sacrificing you are.
To recap . . . rewire the belief that it is wrong to love yourself, and practice loving yourself in action. Again, we talked more about loving yourself with actions in Episodes 38 and 39. If you some more guidance on that, then see a self-worth coach like myself or a counselor.
Challenge: Of all the steps mentioned in this episode, figure out what is the next one you need to take based on where you are in your journey and begin doing so today.