Ep. 12 The Trick to Starting a Tough Convo
- Ashley Baxter
- Aug 20, 2020
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 24, 2022
You know those conversations that you don't want to have, but you know you must have?
They are called tough conversations for several reasons. One reason being that they are hard to even start! But until they start, nothing will change. Below I share my trick to overcoming that hurdle in order to enter into any needed conversation.
How to enter conversations you know you need to have, but are really scared to have them.
Nerves and the fear will often keep us from even entering those conversations. But unless you have that conversation, things will not improve, and most likely will even get worse.
Confrontation is not fun, but sometimes it is needed – no matter how difficult.
So how do we enter into these conversations? And why?
A conversation you’re fearful of is an indicator that it is a very important issue. You’re fearful because of what is at stake.
Depending on the conversation, what is at stake may be your relationship with the person you’re talking to, the situation itself, or perhaps you standing up for yourself.
Whatever is at stake, let the fear motivate you, not deactivate you. Let the fear be a reminder that the conversation is needed and worth it.
Until you have the conversation, it will fester and continue to cause harm.
Sometimes the hardest part of a tough conversation is getting over the hurdle to utter those first words.
So how do we do this? By using the "Sentence of No Return."
First create a sentence that once said, you will be past the point of no return.
Mustering the courage to spurt out one sentence quickly makes starting a tough conversation much more doable.
Let’s look at an example of a Sentence of No Return. Perhaps you are in a relationship with someone, and that person will occasionally criticize you in front of other people, which makes you feel disrespected.
In that scenario, your Sentence of No Return could simply be . . . "When you criticize me in front of other people, I feel so disrespected."
That's it! That one sentence is going to start that conversation.
My hope is you can understand that as scary as this conversation might be, you recognize it's a needed conversation, and that you only need one sentence to get it started. You only need your Sentence of No Return.
Stay tuned for future messages when we will discuss how to handle other difficult aspects of tough conversations, such as how to get your point across, how to respect the other person, how to deal with a conversation when the outcome is really bad, and much more.
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The Courageous Worth Podcast, Ep. 12
